"How the hell do you think I reacted, Nathan?" he asks without thinking, without recalling that very few other people call him anything but Nate. It registers somewhere that Sam had called him Nathan, too, that he had been one of the few, but it's the name Marcus has used more often than not and he doesn't consider that it might be hard for Nate to hear.

"I panicked, said nothing of any particular consequence, which means I didn't give him any answer one way or another, then I made an excuse and left," he says. "And hadn't seen him since."

And now he never will. It's his own fault, he can hardly be upset about it when he was the one keeping his distance, when he had been the one worried that Sam was getting too close. There are so many good reasons for Marcus not to get involved with someone and he doesn't regret keeping himself apart from others, but at the same time, it hurts to know that's the last conversation he and Sam will have ever had.