pushbackthedarkness | (no subject)

For the first time in a very long time, Marcus is wonderfully nervous.

Since five this afternoon, he's been trying to get ready for tonight without rushing through it, just to give himself something to do other than stare at the clock. He showers late, takes a bit of time in front of the bathroom mirror fixing his hair and beard, then spends a full half hour in his bedroom trying to pick the proper outfit for his first real date, possibly ever. They're going to Hideout after dinner, so he ends up with something casual, a pair of dark jeans with a dark red t-shirt on under his light jacket.

He thinks he looks good. At this point he has absolutely no idea.

Sabrina hasn't teased him too much about this, although Marcus suspects Salem of looking especially smug. Even his meows have a particular I told you so quality to them that Marcus is sure he can hear. Still, it's not as if they'd been wrong in the end. Nor Neil. He's never going to hear the end of it.

Just after six thirty, he finally gives up all pretenses of being calm and climbs into the truck, heading for the Bramford. He's picked a place for dinner that's light, but doesn't lean heavily on its drink menu, wanting to make sure Dan didn't feel uncomfortable. Hideout is undeniably a place for music above all else, but they do serve a lot of alcohol there, too, and he's just hoping the band will be enough of a distraction.

He's early, of course, and he turns off the truck and then sits outside by the curb for a few minutes before realizing Dan probably already knows he's there. Huffing out a soft laugh at himself, Marcus gets out of the truck and heads for the front door of the building.

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The feeling he gets as he kisses Marcus feels a lot like finally getting his hands on a glass of cold water after a long shift, like some part of him that's been left thirsty and neglected is finally getting what it needs, in a way that's deep and sweet and feels like growing.

He takes the opportunity to get his own jacket off as Marcus does, so that it's thin layers of cotton between them, neither too fast or too slow, just right. His own hands come to rest on Marcus's sides, feeling him breathe, pressing in slightly on his ribs.

It's worth the wait, and he knew it would be. Dan presses closer, caught up in the warmth of him, the way their open mouths come together again and again.

Marcus already knows he loves the way Dan kisses. In some ways it's hard to believe it was just the evening before they'd done this for the first time when he feels like he's already known Dan somehow for much, much longer than that, but he doesn't want to rush anything. His thumb smooths along the line of Dan's jaw before his hand glides along the side of his neck, then down to rest against the front of his chest. With his hand there, he can feel Dan's heart beating, the steady thumping behind his breastbone.

He feels so familiar. Marcus has no idea how that can possibly be, but he does, and it's not a feeling he's going to waste.

They haven't even made it beyond the door, but Marcus is in no rush to go anywhere. His fingers curl under briefly, holding onto the material of Dan's shirt before they relax again and he presses a shorter, softer kiss against his lower lip before going in for another, deeper one.

Dan pauses then, warmth seeping into his chest in the shape of Marcus's hand, and he finds himself nodding. "It's like the strangest deja vu, isn't it," he murmurs. "I've know for a long time there were other worlds. I've known that people move onto to different places, but I didn't think-- maybe that's part of us, we've done this before or we'll do this again, or it's happening somewhere else too."

The philosophy doesn't throw him off his game; not when he's got all of this warmth anchoring him, the shine actually feeling like something beautiful for once.

"I--" He catches each kiss, both of his lips catching the bow of Marcus's upper, and presses their foreheads together. "I'd like to sit down. I'd like a little of your weight on me."

Even before Darrow, that wouldn't have been such a hard thing for Marcus to believe, the idea of there being other worlds, but ever since having met Verity and hearing all the stories she had to tell about things he'd done and ways he'd helped her family -- stories he still doesn't remember having happened -- he doesn't doubt it for a second. Maybe out there is some world where he and Dan find each other in a different way. What he cares about most is that they've found each other here.

He's nodding carefully, keeping his forehead pressed to Dan's as he does, then lets both his hands fall to Dan's hips. Taking one step forward, he nudges Dan back gently from the door, then has to finally look up, if only to make sure he's not going to walk them into anything.

Finally, stealing one more kiss, he pulls away more completely and grins. "Come on," he says, walking toward the couch. "Before I trip over my own damn feet trying to get us there."

That Marcus can treat him so gently, so carefully, is a source of amazement to Dan, and it turns him into absolute putty as he follows Marcus along to the couch.

"I'd catch you," Dan says easily, and once he's on the couch, he's reaching up for Marcus, pulling him down so he's close-- very close, overlapping, able to press Dan back into the corner of the couch.

He wants to be this close; he wants to be closer.

If it weren't for how mind-blowing each little step has been, he might push for faster.

Three words. That's all it takes for Marcus to feel as if Dan has pulled open something inside of him, something vulnerable that he's kept well hidden for a very long time. For his entire life, no one has ever really taken care of him, certainly not his parents, certainly not the Church, and to have it offered so casually now nearly stops his breath.

It feels like too much to say, especially on a first date, so rather than replying verbally, Marcus just sinks onto the couch with Dan. He braces one hand on the arm of the couch, but then rests his weight against Dan, along his side, half on top of him.

This is different than the nights they'd spent in his bed. This has intention and he grins a little, a shy expression, before he presses in for another kiss.

An emotional reaction like that doesn't go unnoticed, but it doesn't frighten Dan, or make him want to back off in the slightest. He understands; there hasn't been anyone to take care of him since the Overlook.

That it seems so possible now is staggering.

He answer it all with a soft sigh, like the relief of an itch scratched, as Marcus settles next to him, leans against him. The fleeting image of those nights spent wrapped around each other only reinforce how much he wants that again, only with this too. His mouth opens up under Marcus's, and he lets himself go into the kiss like he's been wanting.

It's not that he's been waiting for this all night, he loves spending time with Dan even without getting to hold his hand or kiss him, but Marcus has to admit there's a deep tremor of anticipation that shivers through him when they kiss again. Dan's mouth is soft and warm and Marcus explores curiously with the tip of his tongue at first, not hesitant, but slow. Enjoying the experience.

His heart is thundering. His fingertips are tingling. He sucks gently at Dan's lower lip and another shiver ripples down his spine.

This could easily get out of hand, but Marcus takes every moment as a slow exploration, learning things about Dan and the way he moves. The way he tastes. Even the way he breathes.