pushbackthedarkness | (no subject)

Dan spends most of the day distracted by his own nerves, most of which have to do with the fact that he genuinely cares how this date goes in a way he can't really say he has about any other. There are stakes in this, and the part where he hasn't cared quite as much means that a lot of it feels new.

He's pretty sure the ghosts are avoiding him.

"Laugh it up, you little assholes," he mutters at them. "I guess if you had your shit together before you died, you wouldn't still be here. No one has anything to say?"

It stays quiet, and Dan picks out something a well-meaning and possibly prescient saleswoman had pushed into his hands, after assessing that his personal style was a bit 'sad.' The jeans are tighter, as is the t-shirt, but both look to be nicer than anything he'd usually wear. He's only lacing up his boots when he finds himself looking up with an undoubtedly idiotic smile, and then he ducks out of the apartment to go let Marcus inside.

By the time he's up the front steps of the Bramford, Dan is already there, and Marcus is unable to control the grin that curves his mouth. Dan looks good, which is no surprise, but this is the first time Marcus has really allowed himself to see without the pretence of being just friends and just how good Dan looks settles into him as reality. He looks this way because he's dressed for a date. Because he wants Marcus to see him.

And he does. His grin grows as the door is opened.

"I'm early," he says. "If you're not ready yet, I can wait. I just..." He shrugs, his grin helpless at this point. He's early because he had been driving himself mad with waiting. What he should have done was gone for a bit of a drive to settle his nerves, but instead he'd come straight here and now they're standing in front of each other and Marcus feels as if he's broken every single rule of arrival for a first date and he doesn't care at all. Right now he's just glad to be here.

Dan's aware he's objectively attractive, has had it commented on many times.

He's feeling it now, which is strange. His nerves ease off, and just because he's now allowed, he leans in kisses Marcus briefly. It's going to go well, he realizes, because they want it to go well, and because they've really done all the most nerve-wracking things already.

"I'm almost ready," he says, "so come in, sit down for a minute. I think any lingering spirits have taken off out of fear I'm going to talk to them, for once." Everything seems different with Marcus near, like flipping a light switch and driving the shadows out.

The kiss takes him off guard in a wonderful way. It's a quick kiss, just a soft press of Dan's lips, but it still sends Marcus's heart beating double time, another grin curving his mouth even as he kisses Dan back. His fingers feel like they're tingling, the sort of pins and needles feeling he gets when he falls asleep on his arm, but it's from excitement this time. Excitement and nerves and anticipation.

"They don't want to hear about your plans for this evening?" he asks as he takes a seat on the sofa and pointedly tries not to think about sitting here with Dan. Maybe not tonight, maybe after another date, but the simple thought still makes him smile again, even as he tries not to think about the things they could do on this couch. "That's terribly rude of them, isn't it? Don't they make you listen to them?"

He feels silly and light hearted, all things he'd thought were gone from his life.

"Yeah, that's one of the things about them," Dan says, fixing something near the far wall with an almost amused expression. "All the shit that keeps them around after death usually means they're not very well-adjusted. I'm not sure we can get to manners without accidentally letting them go wherever it is they go."

Dan's got a few things to put away, and he prefers to lock doors when he can, trying his best to put a little mark of the shine there to keep things out of the bedroom at the very least. Returning to see Marcus on his couch, though-- he can actually feel heat in his cheeks, because it's different now.

"I think we'd better go," he says, marveling slightly at his own daring. "If I sit down with you, I don't know that we'll get back up."

Marcus inhales a little, surprised all over again by Dan's words, and he finds himself fighting a smile as he stands from the sofa. Even after all this time in Darrow, after people actually wanting him, after a relationship with two of them, he's still surprised by the attention and Dan's words make something deep inside him stir pleasurably.

He wants that, too, to pull Dan down onto the couch with him, to kiss him again until they're both breathless and the inevitable next step comes around, but he'd meant what he'd said. This isn't only about sex. He wants to do this properly.

"Come on, then," he says, heading for the door and then extending his hand toward Dan. "We've got a dinner reservation to make."

The splash of surprise makes Dan feel a little less out of his depth, a little more sure of himself, just in the very notion that there's newness here for both of them. It makes him grin like an idiot, and he finds himself not quite able to pull the expression from his face even as he grabs his keys and jacket.

He's not sure if it's both of their want that he's feeling, but yeah, they'd better go now.

"Yeah," he answers, and oh no, he's still kind of grinning like an idiot, especially when he's only released Marcus's hand to lock his door. There's a pair of sunken dark eyes and some ghostly dripping on the carpet near the elevator, but Dan only gives the kid the international I'm-watching-you signal and follows Marcus out. "Full disclosure, I don't think I've been on a real date in at least three years."

"Before Darrow, I'd never been on a date," he answers as they head out to the truck, though not before he glances in the direction Dan has signaled. There's nothing there that he can see, but he trusts that Dan sees something, that something is there watching them.

"Between the two of us, I think we'll still manage to do alright," he says with a grin, opening the door of the truck for Dan before he goes around to the driver's side. It had felt like a date before, but there's something about the act of opening the door for Dan that really drives it home for Marcus. They aren't pretending to be anything else. He doesn't have to pretend any longer.

"I'm going to have some friends saying 'I told you so', though," he admits as he starts the truck and pulls away from the curb. "Not long before you arrived I had a few days of feeling rather sorry for myself, convinced nothing like this would ever happen for me again."

Dan had wondered, if at some point, he might feel some awkwardness in going out with a man for the first time, in navigating a relationship with a man. Would some hidden doubt or anxiety bubble up if he knew people were viewing him as gay, or bisexual (experience with people's brains pointing to the former)?

Marcus opens the door for him, and all it does is leave a warm feeling in Dan's chest. He smiles, supposing maybe part of what attracts him to Marcus so much is the unfailing caring and sweetness.

By the time they've pulled away and Marcus is telling him about the possibility of friends getting to be a bit smug, Dan's perfectly comfortable in his seat, glancing over with quiet warmth. "I feel like I might owe Kat some flowers after she had to put up with, uh, in retrospect, a lot of oblivious pining. But if the psychic didn't see this coming, I think you're mostly off the hook."

"Oh, not with Neil I won't be," Marcus answers with a laugh, shoulder checking before he changes lanes and turns the truck toward downtown. Dan had heard a bit about Neil even before meeting him, he had known that he and Marcus are close, that Marcus easily considers him the best friend he's ever had, let alone the best friend he's had in Darrow. They might have only just met, but he has a feeling Dan will already know what Marcus is saying to be the truth.

"He'll just tell us we're both idiots," he says. "He won't even have to get to know you better to make that claim, but he'll somehow be very charming when he says it and you won't even hold it against him. That is, if he hasn't said it already."

And it isn't as if Neil would be wrong in that assessment. Marcus and Dan had shared a bed for several nights all without either of them coming to the conclusion that maybe the other person wanted more than just friendship. Looking back, it does seem rather foolish of him, but Marcus had been so concerned with not taking advantage of a new and already treasured friend that he thinks he can be forgiven a bit of stupidity.

Edited 2019-07-04 16:26 (UTC)

"I don't think I've ever claimed not to be an idiot," Dan answers, grinning. "Though maybe I'll tell him I can't be held responsible for you bringing up a-- great sexual awakening in me." He's sussed out enough to know how important Neil is, and he's already decided the best way to go about that is to go along with his own desires: to be good to Marcus, to let this go where it wants to go, where they want to go.

He looks over at Marcus, still smiling. "And maybe I deserve it, when I think about how desperate I've been to touch you. A little easier knowing that I can now, but..." Trailing off, he's not exactly able to hide his flush. "Hopefully I can get to any future revelations without the help of a parade and flags."

Marcus is grinning, too, and although he can't look over at Dan and look for a parking spot at the same time, he knows Dan can see that smile. He thinks they can both come to their own future revelations together and without the help of anything but each other and he also thinks the twisted and pleased smile he's wearing might indicate that, too.

As he slips the truck into a parking spot not far from the restaurant, then puts it in park and turns off the engine, he finally has a chance to properly look over.

"I think if either of us is the true idiot, it might be me," he admits. "But I'm not particularly bothered by that. Not when we're here now." He nods toward the restaurant, then climbs out of the truck and goes around to join Dan on the other side. "Let's have dinner."

So they do.

They have dinner, and where Dan has sometimes felt awkward and not known what he could share about himself on dates in the past, Marcus already knows him so well. Marcus has seen Dan through some serious shit, and it's relaxing, even to let himself enjoy the moment, to let himself be charmed by Marcus and to understand that yes, he's charmed.

Before he really knows it, they're back in the truck and Dan's feeling bold enough to scoot a little closer, to rest his hand on Marcus's knee.

In retrospect, wanting to rest his head in Marcus's lap should have been a pretty big sign, too. He can't be angry with himself, though, as he smiles over at Marcus. "It's-- funny, maybe. Interesting. How knowing now that what I felt was... attraction... in part, how that changes things ever so slightly."

The dinner goes really well.

It's not that Marcus had been afraid it wouldn't, he and Dan are already so at ease with one another, but there had been a moment or two when Marcus had wondered if maybe that ease wouldn't translate into a more formal date setting. But he clearly needn't have worried, because he's laughing as they get back into the truck, warmth running through him at Dan's hand on his knee as he drives toward Hideout.

"It does change things," he agrees. "Looking back at... well, everything. It makes me feel a little bit less like a foolish boy with a crush at the very least."

At least it hadn't taken them months to work it all out, he thinks. At least he doesn't feel like they've wasted any time. In a place like this, it's so easy to have regrets and while Marcus would hardly consider himself good at seizing the moment, he likes that they've gotten here so soon. They can take their time now that they've discovered this mutual affection and attraction, but at least they're not wasting their time dancing around it.

"Definitely not foolish," Dan says, practically glowing at this new freedom to touch and touch. "Some part of me clearly knew what was going on when I tried to sleep with my head in your lap on the way back to your place." He skillfully doesn't call it home, even when the word drifts through the back of his mind.

"And you're right," he adds, a bit shyly since he's plucking the thought that pops up crystal clear. "I want all the time with you that I can get." Then he does color more than he'd like to, as a middle-aged man. Not only he has he openly read Marcus's thoughts, he's followed it up by suggesting forever.

He goes with the first problem first. "Sorry, it's-- it's difficult not to catch your thoughts sometimes. I mean, I'm touching you, and I want to know what you think about so many things, it just skims off the top before I even notice."

It doesn't bother Marcus nearly as much as he might have expected, knowing Dan can hear some of what he's thinking. Having Dan read the thoughts that flit through his mind feels almost natural, rather than something invasive, and he's not sure why he feels that way, but decides the most likely explanation is that it has something to do with Dan. While Marcus isn't a man who necessarily believes in the idea of fate, he does tend to think people are meant for certain things. Certain roles. What they choose to do with those roles is something else entirely.

Maybe they were meant to find one another. That they've found the connection to be a romantic one might be their own choice, their own personalities meshing together, but maybe this relationship was always meant to happen.

"It's... I don't mind it," he admits, glancing over Dan before he slips the truck into a parking space a block over from Hideout. He turns the truck off and gets out before reaching to take Dan's hand. The crowd at Hideout is often a bit on the young side, but he's been here often enough now that people know him and he doubts any of them will raise an eyebrow at him holding another man's hand. Besides, he wants to be holding Dan's hand. He'd said he wants to do this properly and that includes all of it. "The touching makes it easier for you to skim off the top? Or am I just easily read?"

Dan looks a little gobsmacked, not by the idea of holding Marcus's hand in public-- something he likes very much, honestly-- but by the idea that Marcus seems just fine with this aspect of the shine. He has to stand there more a moment, looking a bit dumbstruck and a bit more hopeful.

"Touching always makes it stronger," he answers. "Then the longer I would keep from touching people, the more I would get when I did." A vicious cycle that had once been the lead-in to some of his blackest of blackouts.

"And I don't think you're easily read, so much as I find you easy to read." He looks a bit pained here. "Not because of talent, but because I'm attuned to you and you're open to me."

Paying their cover gives Marcus a moment to digest that, to really think of the implication of it, and he feels foolish all over again, knowing he very much deserves every bit of the hell he's going to catch from Neil and likely Kat for all this. He had been so prepared all over again to just descend into the life he'd been told was for him, one of separation and loneliness, and he'd refused to acknowledge there might still be some happiness in the world for him in the form of a connection like this. But Dan is right. He feels... connected. And open.

"Well, then," he says, taking Dan's hand once their cover is paid and leading him inside. "Best keep my thoughts clean for now, yeah?"

He grins as he says it, looking over at Dan with that teasing smile before bringing him over to a table further away from the bar. The band has already started and it's loud in Hideout tonight, but not so loud they won't be able to enjoy themselves, especially if they stick with their table rather than venturing out onto the floor where dozens of people are standing around the stage.

"Bit of a dive, I know," he says, gesturing to the walls and even the table, plastered with band posters and stickers. "But they've got some of the best live music here."

"I wouldn't say you have to keep them entirely clean," Dan says as they head in, and responds with his own warm, curling smile that he can feel unfold right to the tips of his fingers.

He takes the place in, the smile remaining on his features, as he recognizes how much Marcus likes the place. "I don't mind a dive," he's sure to tell Marcus. "Especially for the right reasons."

The right reasons are all on display as he slides into one side of the booth, and then makes room for Marcus. They might be paying attention to doing things right, but this seems right to him, to enjoy the music and the night pressed up against his date's side. He looks up at Marcus, warm and inviting, and gestures him over.

He's brought people here before, but they had all been friends, people whose company he enjoyed certainly, but no one who makes his heart feel as if it's doing something terribly clichéd like skipping a beat. Bringing someone to Hideout has always been a little bit like showing someone a part of him he tends not to give as much attention. This isn't the exorcist side of Marcus, which is all he's ever been for such a long time. This is the side of him that might have had a chance to flourish, if not for his parents and the Church. He feels a bit shy, sharing this place, but he's still glad he has.

Slipping into the booth beside Dan, he sits close, their thighs pressed together, and he settles back for a moment just to enjoy the band.

"These people met through another singer," he says, leaning in so Dan can hear him. "Beautiful singer, she had a lovely voice, and she got this band together before realizing she had a better chance as a solo act. No hard feelings, though, these musicians were just grateful they'd found each other through her. They're rather amazing for having only been together a year or so."

Dan doesn't usually find himself in places like this-- the bar factor, of course, and the sheer amount of people with loud thoughts. But just as he'd suspected, and happily so, once he's all tucked in against Marcus, the other people are gentle background noise in his head.

It occurs to him that he can be upfront about it now, and so he is.

"They sound great," he says first, because they do, and it makes him remember that he had liked singing, before he really lost track of himself. "Hey, can you-- give me your hand, or something? Helps with the people noise. Helps with more than that, but I just want to be focused on you and the music."

It must be difficult, all those thoughts around him, inevitably just swarming through the air like flies, and Marcus doesn't know how Dan does it, how he keeps himself sane and grounded with all that noise going on around him, but if there's something he can do to help, he's not going to refuse. Besides, it isn't as if touching Dan is any sort of hardship.

Under the table, almost shy in his movements, Marcus reaches to take Dan's hand. He threads their fingers together slowly, the act somehow more intimate that he had anticipated, then rests the back of his hand on top of Dan's thigh. They're just holding hands, he's done as much with others, but it still feels different than it ever has before. Electric.

"Happy to help," he says softly, still leaning in toward Dan, ostensibly so he can be heard, but realistically because he simply likes being near him.

It would be a smooth line, maybe, if it weren't so true.

Dan immediately relaxes as their fingers lace together, and when he feels Marcus leaning in, he does so as well until he's made contact that way too, a warm line down the side of his body. "It's... crazy to me, that I can just ask for that now. That I have someone I can ask for it."

Watching to see if it's too much, he leans his head against Marcus's shoulder a bit, sighing softly. He really hopes it isn't too much, and he doesn't think it will be. It's just that, as he'd said, this isn't something he's been able to have.

Marcus doesn't even want Dan to have to ask. All of this is still rather new to him, the idea of being in a relationship, and he knows he hadn't been the best partner to Dutch or Matthias. Learning how to be with someone had been a challenge, especially after having been alone for such a long time, and he knows there are countless places where he had failed. There are probably going to be countless places where he fails here, too, but he wants to try. He wants to be better.

"Feel free to ask anytime you want," he says and while his focus is on Dan, he's watching the musicians on stage. It's rather a perfect soundtrack for a first date, he thinks. "But I'll try to make sure you don't need to ask."

It's not the best promise he can make, but he will. He'll try.

"You're going to be just fine," Dan tells him, because the thoughts are big enough to bubble over. "Already my favorite."

Is there something to the fact that he feels so much more open and easy affection with Marcus? He'd been okay with it, in the past, most of the time, with the women he'd dated, but it had been easy to feel startled or suffocated. And he's not going to feel that here, he thinks.

He knows.

"In some ways, this doesn't really feel like a first date," he says. "But like we've been doing this for a while."

"It does feel... easy," Marcus agrees. That isn't quite the word he wants, but he's not sure how else to explain it. With Dan, he'd felt a connection right from the start and while Marcus has never had any particular trouble making people feel as if he genuinely likes him, real connections have always been a bit more difficult. He keeps people at a distance so as to not let them get hurt, he's done it ever since Mouse, and he knows it isn't only that experience that's caused it. The abuse he suffered at his parents' hands and in homes made it easier to not care for others.

But in Darrow, it's gotten a little easier with time. In Darrow, people have gotten something more genuine out of Marcus and he's come to love many of them. With Dan, that feeling of closeness had happened almost instantly.

"I'm honestly not sure I've ever had a proper first date," he admits. "So this... even if it doesn't feel quite like one, is still something new. I like it."

Dan catches the drift of thoughts, the gentle spill of it, and squeezes Marcus's hand. He knows what it's like, to need to stay at a distance, to keep everything orderly, locked away if it's too dangerous. He remembers how long it had taken after the Overlook not to feel as if any stray thought might worm into his brain, try to hurt him.

It has to be the exorcist thing, he thinks, and by that he means whatever made Marcus able to do great and terrible things for God, that special quality was already there. Just honed now.

"We'll do lots of them," Dan says. "I'd like to go back to the beach, or we could go to the movies. I'll come cook for you."

"Do you cook?" Marcus asks. "Well, then I'm certainly keeping you around."

It's teasing, of course, but he's surprised by the ease with which the words come. Yes, he's teasing, but he finds he means them all the same. If Dan wants to be around, then Marcus is going to want him there, and he doubts very much there's going to be anything that changes that. Even if they had never kissed, even if this date had never happened, he would have wanted Dan's friendship. Anything he was willing to give.

"This place has fantastic parties sometimes. I'd like to take you," he says, leaning in, brushing his lips against Dan's temple. On the stage the band starts up a particularly heavy song, one Marcus can feel right down in his chest, the vibrations of the bass singing in his bones, and he closes his eyes to enjoy it. This is as close to a perfect moment as he's had, he thinks, with the music in his body, Dan's hand in his, his lips still brushing Dan's skin lightly.

"I've always gotten by, but I might even be a good cook if I had someone else to feed," Dan says, which is true. Simple things, but in that wisp of a notion of what life might be, should he keep on this path, he can see learning.

He's not surprised to find that the idea of Marcus taking him to parties, something he'd usually avoid for dozens of reasons, doesn't seem like something he wants to avoid. "You'll have to stay close enough to touch," Dan says, half a warning and half a promise. He feels a little giddy, like his skin is buzzing. He lets his thumb stroke the back of Marcus's hand, and falls quiet so they can both feel the moment, the world around them and the connection between them.

It's good. It's really fucking good.

"I think that's a fair trade off," he agrees softly and through the music and everything else around them, he feels a buzz of anticipation. This very thing that he'd imagined would never happen for him again is happening right here, right before his very eyes, and almost as if beyond his control. As if something led him right here without his having realized at all.

It's a rather incredible thought.

When the band is finished, the bar begins to empty out, although only for a little while. There's another act and people are going outside to have a cigarette or chat with their friends. Others are heading to the bar for another drink, but there's nothing there for them. Dan doesn't drink and the food here is rather terrible, so Marcus squeezes Dan's hand and leans in again.

"Would you like to head out?" he asks. "We can take a walk or..." Or he's not sure what.

Dan lets himself drift a bit, mentally, still reeling from the novelty of being able to do such a thing, of being emotionally and psychically capable of trusting another person this way, of trusting himself this way.

He meets Marcus's gaze and gives a little nod. "Yeah, I was thinking maybe you could come back with me to my place for a bit. I'll clear out the ghosts, promise."

Not the night, he thinks they both want to hold out a little longer, feel the anticipation, but he thinks some time spent pretending to watch a movie (assuming they get that far) would be the way to cap the evening.

Marcus doesn't think either of them are ready for him to spend the night, not quite yet, but he very much likes the idea of going to Dan's for at least a little while. Ghosts or not, there's something terribly appealing and simple in going home with Dan after a date, even if all they really do is sit on the couch together.

He has a feeling that isn't going to be all they get up to, but he also doesn't want to presume.

"That sounds good," he says as he slides out of the booth without letting go of Dan's hand. The drummer from the band they've just seen recognizes him and she smiles, giving a wave, her expression brightening a little when she sees that Marcus is clearly on a date. He grins at her and waves back, then looks to Dan. "I think that sounds like a really nice way to end the evening. With or without the ghosts."

Dan wonders, briefly, if Marcus knows how many warm thoughts are directed in his direction-- not just because he's objectively charming and kind and handsome, but because he inspires that warmth in other people. It doesn't seem like a first date revelation, however, and Dan has other things on his mind.

Other things like getting back to his apartment with Marcus in tow, and then inside, but not before telling a couple of spirits to take their routine upstairs.

Other things like closing his door, locking it, and immediately crowding Marcus up against it, kissing him eagerly. He's waited all evening, very patiently, and he wants more now.

As the door closes behind them, Marcus has a feeling they're not going to make it as far as the couch, at least not at first, and he's very comfortable with that. Dan presses close to him and Marcus leans in to meet his mouth in an eager kiss, one that feels as good as it sounded when Dan asked him to come back here. Whether the ghosts are hanging around or not, Marcus would never know, not with as wrapped up in this moment as he is.

Dan's mouth is warm beneath his and Marcus's lips part, his tongue exploring as a shuddering sigh slips out of him. It's so simple, just a wonderful kiss against Dan's apartment door, but he's been missing this. The perfect simplicity of just kissing someone he cares about. How warm it can make him feel, how important.

"Here, just..." He pauses, grinning against Dan's mouth, then pulls his hands back to shake his jacket off. Then he's touching Dan again, one hand on his jaw, the other at his waist, diving back into the kiss.

The feeling he gets as he kisses Marcus feels a lot like finally getting his hands on a glass of cold water after a long shift, like some part of him that's been left thirsty and neglected is finally getting what it needs, in a way that's deep and sweet and feels like growing.

He takes the opportunity to get his own jacket off as Marcus does, so that it's thin layers of cotton between them, neither too fast or too slow, just right. His own hands come to rest on Marcus's sides, feeling him breathe, pressing in slightly on his ribs.

It's worth the wait, and he knew it would be. Dan presses closer, caught up in the warmth of him, the way their open mouths come together again and again.

Marcus already knows he loves the way Dan kisses. In some ways it's hard to believe it was just the evening before they'd done this for the first time when he feels like he's already known Dan somehow for much, much longer than that, but he doesn't want to rush anything. His thumb smooths along the line of Dan's jaw before his hand glides along the side of his neck, then down to rest against the front of his chest. With his hand there, he can feel Dan's heart beating, the steady thumping behind his breastbone.

He feels so familiar. Marcus has no idea how that can possibly be, but he does, and it's not a feeling he's going to waste.

They haven't even made it beyond the door, but Marcus is in no rush to go anywhere. His fingers curl under briefly, holding onto the material of Dan's shirt before they relax again and he presses a shorter, softer kiss against his lower lip before going in for another, deeper one.

Dan pauses then, warmth seeping into his chest in the shape of Marcus's hand, and he finds himself nodding. "It's like the strangest deja vu, isn't it," he murmurs. "I've know for a long time there were other worlds. I've known that people move onto to different places, but I didn't think-- maybe that's part of us, we've done this before or we'll do this again, or it's happening somewhere else too."

The philosophy doesn't throw him off his game; not when he's got all of this warmth anchoring him, the shine actually feeling like something beautiful for once.

"I--" He catches each kiss, both of his lips catching the bow of Marcus's upper, and presses their foreheads together. "I'd like to sit down. I'd like a little of your weight on me."

Even before Darrow, that wouldn't have been such a hard thing for Marcus to believe, the idea of there being other worlds, but ever since having met Verity and hearing all the stories she had to tell about things he'd done and ways he'd helped her family -- stories he still doesn't remember having happened -- he doesn't doubt it for a second. Maybe out there is some world where he and Dan find each other in a different way. What he cares about most is that they've found each other here.

He's nodding carefully, keeping his forehead pressed to Dan's as he does, then lets both his hands fall to Dan's hips. Taking one step forward, he nudges Dan back gently from the door, then has to finally look up, if only to make sure he's not going to walk them into anything.

Finally, stealing one more kiss, he pulls away more completely and grins. "Come on," he says, walking toward the couch. "Before I trip over my own damn feet trying to get us there."

That Marcus can treat him so gently, so carefully, is a source of amazement to Dan, and it turns him into absolute putty as he follows Marcus along to the couch.

"I'd catch you," Dan says easily, and once he's on the couch, he's reaching up for Marcus, pulling him down so he's close-- very close, overlapping, able to press Dan back into the corner of the couch.

He wants to be this close; he wants to be closer.

If it weren't for how mind-blowing each little step has been, he might push for faster.

Three words. That's all it takes for Marcus to feel as if Dan has pulled open something inside of him, something vulnerable that he's kept well hidden for a very long time. For his entire life, no one has ever really taken care of him, certainly not his parents, certainly not the Church, and to have it offered so casually now nearly stops his breath.

It feels like too much to say, especially on a first date, so rather than replying verbally, Marcus just sinks onto the couch with Dan. He braces one hand on the arm of the couch, but then rests his weight against Dan, along his side, half on top of him.

This is different than the nights they'd spent in his bed. This has intention and he grins a little, a shy expression, before he presses in for another kiss.

An emotional reaction like that doesn't go unnoticed, but it doesn't frighten Dan, or make him want to back off in the slightest. He understands; there hasn't been anyone to take care of him since the Overlook.

That it seems so possible now is staggering.

He answer it all with a soft sigh, like the relief of an itch scratched, as Marcus settles next to him, leans against him. The fleeting image of those nights spent wrapped around each other only reinforce how much he wants that again, only with this too. His mouth opens up under Marcus's, and he lets himself go into the kiss like he's been wanting.

It's not that he's been waiting for this all night, he loves spending time with Dan even without getting to hold his hand or kiss him, but Marcus has to admit there's a deep tremor of anticipation that shivers through him when they kiss again. Dan's mouth is soft and warm and Marcus explores curiously with the tip of his tongue at first, not hesitant, but slow. Enjoying the experience.

His heart is thundering. His fingertips are tingling. He sucks gently at Dan's lower lip and another shiver ripples down his spine.

This could easily get out of hand, but Marcus takes every moment as a slow exploration, learning things about Dan and the way he moves. The way he tastes. Even the way he breathes.