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Marcus Keane ([personal profile] pushbackthedarkness) wrote2020-06-11 09:26 am
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Having reluctantly left Neil to talk to Grantaire on his own, Marcus returns to the bedroom, pausing every so often to listen for the voices outside. It seems that Grantaire is done shouting, though he can occasionally hear Neil's voice, despite his efforts to keep the volume down, and he finds he's glad Sabrina is with Nick for the night. She'd not respond well to this, nor should she have to, and Marcus is relieved she'll get to be kept out of it.

He's not sorry to have given Neil a place to stay and he'll never take back that offer or the safety of his home. Nor does he entirely blame Grantaire for his outburst, although he does wish, with a very heavy heart, that he hadn't returned to drinking. This is life, for better or worse, and for the first time in five long decades, Marcus is a part of it. His love for Neil far outweighs any loss of sleep or concern he has for the glass outside. None of that matters. He is a little worried about Dan, however.

But this is where they've all found themselves and Marcus eases open the bedroom door and slips back inside, closing it gently behind him. Dan won't have fallen back asleep, not now, but just in case he doesn't want to risk waking him.

As he expected, though, the bedside lamp is still on and Marcus rubs his hands over a tired face, then looks to Dan.
shine_again: (Overcome.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-11 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Dan's managed to at least return to the bed, though he sits with his back against the headboard, knees somewhat drawn up and his arms looping loosely around them. His eyes stare off just slightly as he expends the energy to keep from fully freaking out.

Most of that is spent keeping himself from shining, from hearing or seeing what's been happening outside the house. The drunken shouting, the crash of the glass, an angry man-- it's not anything Dan hasn't experienced or even done before, but that's the problem, isn't it?

There's pain, at the bottom of all of this, that Dan can empathize with, and come morning, maybe he will.

For now, he's forcing slow and even breaths, keeping himself separate from a situation so haphazardly primed to bring up the old bad stuff.
shine_again: (Guilt.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-11 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Dan doesn't hesitate.

He practically crawls into Marcus's lap, swinging a leg over his hips and burying his face in Marcus's neck while he draws deep, ragged breath. His hands ball up at the hem of Marcus's shirt, and stay there while he lets himself find stillness and peace in the only place he ever truly had.

"I'm trying so hard not to feel it," he whispers, "but it's-- maybe if it was just the yelling, or the glass, or the booze. Swear i can fucking smell it, and I don't want-- doesn't make me want it."
shine_again: (Bedhead.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-12 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Dan needs the touch.

He only presses closer, eyes half-shut, and breathes, drawing the quiet and the security up over himself, pictures a bubble closing around them both. "I don't know their story, of course," he finally says, shifting the way his face has been pressed into the slope of Marcus's neck so that he can be heard. "But it's hard to shake the sense memory. Waking up to it, jerking awake because you know a certain tone."

Every part of himself wants to minimize the feelings, the way the situation affects him. It's not Jack Torrance out on the lawn, but that doesn't dissolve the unhappy cocktail of chemicals in his brain. But this isn't the place for that. "Surprised he hasn't been eaten by the creatures or zapped by the house," Dan mumbles, because he's going to let Marcus bring him through it, to the other side.
shine_again: (Softly.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-13 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"Cat's gonna snitch, though," Dan says, and he doesn't need to be a psychic to know it. "Might want damage control there." All the angry, worried knots are slowly untying in his chest, in the tension of his muscles as Marcus's hands pass over him.

"I know he's hurting," Dan says, huffing ruefully against Marcus's shoulder. "Wasn't ever the source of mine, but I know what that's like. The desire to self-destruct. In this case, I imagine, the desire to make someone watch you hurt yourself." He's more concerned about Neil than he'd thought he might be.

In an even quieter tone, sounding surprisingly young, he adds, "This is our home." And he lets that hold the multitude of thoughts all jumbled together.
shine_again: (Default)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-16 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
Dan leans back just a little, so that he can press their foreheads together.

"Makes perfect sense," he answers, letting some of the tension in his tone bleed into the muted whispers of the kind of talk that happens late at night. "And I want them all to feel that too. IF what Neil, what any of them would need, is safe harbor here, they have it."

He exhales slowly, the quiet wrapping around him again, soothing. "It's the other thing, the jab of what feels like some of the worst shit, here. Always going to be hard for me. It's why I lived in what amounted to a fucking tower for so long."
shine_again: (Default)

[personal profile] shine_again 2020-06-17 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"I trust you," Dan murmurs, which might not be the most comprehensive answer, but he's getting sleepy again despite himself, and it's the heart of the matter. "And I don't want to be anywhere else, ever."

There's more, that he's only getting an impression of, that he's barely remembering, that he thinks might be striking so many nerves; it's in the turning to drink, and what comes with that choice. It's nothing he wants to think about now, beyond a few pangs of sorrow, and he focuses instead on the warm, solid presence of Marcus.