pushbackthedarkness | (no subject)

Having reluctantly left Neil to talk to Grantaire on his own, Marcus returns to the bedroom, pausing every so often to listen for the voices outside. It seems that Grantaire is done shouting, though he can occasionally hear Neil's voice, despite his efforts to keep the volume down, and he finds he's glad Sabrina is with Nick for the night. She'd not respond well to this, nor should she have to, and Marcus is relieved she'll get to be kept out of it.

He's not sorry to have given Neil a place to stay and he'll never take back that offer or the safety of his home. Nor does he entirely blame Grantaire for his outburst, although he does wish, with a very heavy heart, that he hadn't returned to drinking. This is life, for better or worse, and for the first time in five long decades, Marcus is a part of it. His love for Neil far outweighs any loss of sleep or concern he has for the glass outside. None of that matters. He is a little worried about Dan, however.

But this is where they've all found themselves and Marcus eases open the bedroom door and slips back inside, closing it gently behind him. Dan won't have fallen back asleep, not now, but just in case he doesn't want to risk waking him.

As he expected, though, the bedside lamp is still on and Marcus rubs his hands over a tired face, then looks to Dan.

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Dan leans back just a little, so that he can press their foreheads together.

"Makes perfect sense," he answers, letting some of the tension in his tone bleed into the muted whispers of the kind of talk that happens late at night. "And I want them all to feel that too. IF what Neil, what any of them would need, is safe harbor here, they have it."

He exhales slowly, the quiet wrapping around him again, soothing. "It's the other thing, the jab of what feels like some of the worst shit, here. Always going to be hard for me. It's why I lived in what amounted to a fucking tower for so long."

"For what it's worth, I'll always be here, too."

Marcus is sure they both know such a promise can't truly be made, not in the way he intends on making it. This place decides who gets to stay and who leaves and so what Marcus means is that for as long as he's able, this is where he'll be. He's choosing this home, this place, he's choosing Dan.

He tilts his head slightly and presses a kiss to Dan's temple. "I'll be here," he says. "And I'm an exorcist. The worst shit isn't getting in here."

"I trust you," Dan murmurs, which might not be the most comprehensive answer, but he's getting sleepy again despite himself, and it's the heart of the matter. "And I don't want to be anywhere else, ever."

There's more, that he's only getting an impression of, that he's barely remembering, that he thinks might be striking so many nerves; it's in the turning to drink, and what comes with that choice. It's nothing he wants to think about now, beyond a few pangs of sorrow, and he focuses instead on the warm, solid presence of Marcus.

"I know, love," he says softly. It feels good, being trusted, even if there are times when Marcus doesn't believe he deserves it. He's hurt so many people, turned his back on those who needed him and it's difficult to understand why anyone would want to trust him after that.

Dan does, though, and Marcus has vowed to be better for him. For Neil and Kat and Sabrina.

"We'll be just fine," he promises. "We're here together."