pushbackthedarkness: (demon)
Marcus Keane ([personal profile] pushbackthedarkness) wrote2019-12-05 11:48 am

[tempter of the holy]

Marcus is exhausted.

He'd known, of course, he'd seen it dozens upon dozens of times in the people he's helped. He'd held them and wiped their tears and tended to their wounds and told them they just had to fight for a little while longer, so he had known, but he had never really appreciated the bone wrenching exhaustion that comes with fighting back from this side.

Every part of his body aches, but he can only feel it from a distance. Everything comes to him as if from a distance, as if he's not really part of his body at all, but something kept just slightly apart. Kept out of the way.

There are times when it feels physical, as if he's pushing back against some barrier, times when he's able to hook his fingers into something and claw to the surface, but those moments are getting more and more difficult to grasp. He feels if he could only wrap his hands around the demon's throat, he would be able to choke it out of him, but every time he tries, a horrible buzzing laugh rips from his mouth and he finds his actual hands yanking against his restraints, trying to reach his own throat.

Matthias comes to him in those moments, soothing him, pressing a cool hand to his burning forehead and Marcus wrenches away from the touch. He had been such a fool to fall for it in the first place, but he'd just felt so lost, so confused, all those memories pressing in on him, time folding over on itself in ways that should have been impossible. In the moment, it had made sense for Matthias to be there. If he was in Darrow and he had also killed Andy, then he could be here without Matthias and Matthias could still be there all at once, only he understands now none of that is true.

He didn't kill Andy. Not the man he is now. And when Matthias comes to him, eyes and voice and smile so familiar, he knows it's wrong. He's so damn ashamed of having fallen for it in the first place.

"You're not you," he hisses at Matthias in a rare moment when he can speak in his own voice. The others don't see Matthias, he knows they don't, but he can't let this stand. This thing wearing Matthias's skin. "You're not you, you don't belong here."

He knows the thing's name. If only he could get back to them properly, if only he could find a moment of awareness, he would be able to tell Sam, but he can't seem to get there. Every time he speaks the name it dissipates on the air and another lash is ripped across his back, leaving his skin bloody and raw.

Even the pain is distant, though. All Marcus knows is how tired he is. How much he just wants to close his eyes and sleep.

"Sleep, älskling," the thing wearing Matthias's face says gently. "Sleep now."

Marcus works up what little strength he has and spits in its face.
shine_again: (Returning.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-06 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Dan waits until it's relatively quiet to step inside the room, and then he finds a chair to pull near the bed. The pain and exhaustion settle over him immediately, and he lets out his breath in a horrified, shaky exhale. If it weren't for the other, dark thing in the room, Dan could have mistaken it for another place and time, might look for Azzie at the foot of the bed.

But he's not here to help anyone go gentle in that good night.

"Marcus," he says softly, and then with just the slightest pulse of the shine, he repeats himself. "Marcus. You're-- you're doing so well. You're fighting so hard. It's time to let us help."
shine_again: (Returning.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-06 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Even without the shine he thinks he would know when it's really Marcus, and his breath catches in his throat. Even as he's about to speak, to say anything at all, a few things happen. The darkness draws close to him, at the edge of his shine, and Marcus reacts in a way that offers a bit of information too. Dan finds himself on his knees, fighting back his own sense of helplessness, and he doesn't care if it manages to claw him through Marcus's hands-- he takes careful hold of one of the restrained appendages, winding their fingers together.

"I'm not leaving you," he says, firmly, but with the gentleness inspired by deep love. "This thing doesn't like me, and I know why."

Exposing the vulnerable back of his neck, knowing it's so and that he'll be fine, Dan bows his head and kisses the raw, abused finger he's holding.

And then they're standing on a frozen highway that's piled high with snow, the truck pulled over with the lights on, though it's only dusk, and it's not actually very cold. Dan catches hold of Marcus immediately, pulling him tight. "This is real. It's a memory we both have, so I can access it." He cradles Marcus as much as he can, kissing his face. "Listen, okay? I know you're tired, but we're all here. You've got so many people who love you, and we're not letting this taken you away. I love you, I love you."
shine_again: (Serious discussion.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-06 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Dan's done enough of his own research by now that he doesn't need to ask how important that is, and when he understands, really understands what he can do here, he clutches Marcus even more tightly. "It's attached to your body," he says softly. "Right? Right now, it only has your body. I don't think I could have done this otherwise."

He cups Marcus's jaw with one hand, and kisses him, stroking the pad of his thumb along the strong line there.

"I need you to trust me," he whispers. "I can do it. I can make it so you can speak, but it will be hard, for me to do and for you to see. I can give you an hour, maybe longer. I promise it's not a trade with the demon. I'm pretty sure I can do it, but I will need you to rescue me again." He can't help the smile, bittersweet even if the sweet is much greater. "This isn't self-sacrifice, either, by the way. Just-- just believe in me, like I believe in you. You're going to finish it, I know it."

Pressing their foreheads together, he exhales slowly. "Okay?"
shine_again: (Face the fear.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-07 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Sure as he is about the momentary safety of this place, Dan's still speaking softly, right against Marcus's ear. "Think of it like turning a wheel," he says. "The demon's trapped in the middle, can't leave without someone inviting him, to a certain extent. You and I are on the wheel, though. And we're going to turn it until you're outside, where you can tell Sam the name and catch your breath."

He leaves the part where he stays inside with the demon unspoken, though it's not like he thinks Marcus won't understand.

"An hour, and you come back to me and we turn the wheel again. You're the one that knows how to beat this thing the best. You're the exorcist. Get ready to fight."

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greatest_sin: (Default)

[personal profile] greatest_sin 2019-12-08 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
They were all exhausted, but no one more than Marcus, and that was why, above everything else, Sam wasn't ready to stop. Not for a break. Not to regroup. Not to give up.

The demon was tough. It liked to remind them at every turn. It was tough, and Sam could feel the dejection looming in closer. They were all tired and all looking to him, and while he knew this wouldn't end any other way than with the demon banished and Marcus alive and whole, he couldn't help but absorb a little of that doubt for himself.

The basic exorcism rites weren't working, but that much didn't surprise him. Darrow's rules, or even the rules from Marcus's world, were not his own, but luckily, Sam was adaptable. Gripped in his hand was, not a bible, but the journal he'd kept since Betty's exorcism. In it were rites he'd written himself, compiled from various books and research Lisbeth had dug up for him.

It was working. It would work. But he still needed something. He needed a name.

Unfortunately, demanding it was getting them nowhere.

"Fine," he muttered, snapping the book closed. "Take some time," he said conversationally, "Then we'll start again."

He slipped out of the safe room, leaving the heavy iron door open for the moment. Marcus was restrained and that, at least, he could trust to hold for a while.
greatest_sin: (Uncertain)

[personal profile] greatest_sin 2019-12-16 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
Sam sank down into a chair at the large table in the room he, in a quiet nod to his brother, tended to think of as the war room. At the sound of that gasp, Sam's head jolted up, a frown creasing his brow.

"Hey, man..." He stood, reaching for his discarded cane as he took a tentative step closer. "What's up?"

They were all on edge, but he knew he'd never heard that particular tone in Dan's voice.
greatest_sin: (Default)

[personal profile] greatest_sin 2019-12-22 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
"Marcus?" Sam said, surging forward, the last of his hesitation fading.

He caught the other man by the arm, staring into the face of someone he hardly knew, but somehow seeing one of his most trusted friends.

"All right," Sam said, nodding, because the details of how it happened didn't matter. Not in that moment. "Tell me what to do, Marcus. I'm getting my ass kicked in there."
greatest_sin: (Little smirk)

[personal profile] greatest_sin 2019-12-28 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
"Okay," Sam nodded emphatically, taking in Marcus's words, his advice, his own hands coming up to grip Dan's biceps. "Make it angry, I got it. I think I can do that."

Not like Betty, and he had to admit that was a relief, as well. Betty's demon was unlike anything he'd ever encountered, and he wasn't looking forward to the day it came for them again. This, at least, felt familiar— an insecure, desperate, grasping thing clawing for a bit more time in a meatsuit that didn't belong to it. It was weak, and maybe they were getting their asses kicked, but they wouldn't be for long.

"Man, I gotta say, I really wish you were out here with me, on this one."

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swerved: (pic#12068958)

[personal profile] swerved 2019-12-10 09:04 am (UTC)(link)
It's strange, how familiar all of this is starting to feel, and strange, too, how she doesn't think it's really something to get used to. At least she doesn't have the uncertainty she did when it was her sister, and then when it was her mother. Though it's hardly better, she thinks it's gotten a little easier. About half the time, at least, that's the case, and she feels confident then that they'll be able to bring him out of this, that Marcus will be able to get through it. The other half, she's terrified. Marcus is the person she usually counts on for this sort of thing, and it isn't as if he can perform his own exorcism. She knows that, in his absence, she couldn't ask for any better people to be helping him, but it's still hard for him to be the one who's down for the count.

That fear is something she knows she can't let show when she goes into the room where Marcus is. So is the way her stomach turns at the sight of him. At least she's got all sorts of practice with this now, her composure even, arms folded over her chest. Her family has a history of kicking demons' asses, and being in a room with one, she's more impatient than afraid.

"Ready to give up yet?"
swerved: (pic#12068962)

[personal profile] swerved 2019-12-19 08:30 am (UTC)(link)
"He wouldn't stop fighting," Kat says, scoffing like that might be the most absurd thing she's ever heard. Truthfully, she's not sure where the line is, where genuine confidence stops and bravado begins. She wants to believe that Marcus is still fighting in there, and she knows better than to take a demon at its word. They lie; that's what they do. But she knows it's lying to Marcus, too, and she just hopes that, wherever he is, he knows that the rest of them are fighting for him, that they won't give up. He wouldn't, if this situation were reversed and it were her or Sam or Neil or Dan in his position. He didn't give up on Casey. The least she can do is return the favor.

"And you know that's ancient history now, right?" she asks. It strikes a nerve, of course it does and probably always will, but she won't give it that satisfaction. "We've dealt with that shit. You don't have anything better? No sharper weapons in your arsenal?" She shouldn't be baiting it, she thinks, but right now, it's hard to care.
swerved: (pic#12069031)

[personal profile] swerved 2019-12-24 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
This is what happened before, she thinks. Not exactly, but close enough to the way her protective instincts surged up when Casey, the real Casey, bled through the demon's control over her. Of course she would give into that; of course she would want to, hating the sight of someone she cares about so much in pain, and the helplessness she feels in this position. Even that is probably worse than it seems. She hasn't actually done nothing here. She helped get Marcus here in the first place, and even if she won't be the one doing any actual exorcising, she'll help get him back, too.

Still, it fucking hurts. She's sure that's the point, but that doesn't make it much easier.

"I know," she says through her teeth, jaw clenched, eyes sad and furious all at once. "We all do. People who know what they're doing with all this are the wrong ones to fuck with."

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shine_again: (Wake it up. (2))

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-21 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It hadn't been safe to stay at their spot on the highway, and so when Dan can feel that he is truly alone with the demon, he moves. He's got to be careful, he thinks, about what he constructs in here, and he has to be fast. Much as he senses that he could lose the demon in a hedge maze, he doesn't want to give it access to any memory of the Overlook. The possible protection isn't worth the risk of cross-contamination.

Dan reaches for another memory, one that's shared, one that they've overcome and he knows the shape of too well to get truly lost, and then he's sprinting up the path to the dark castle formed from Kagura's bones. The demon follows, and sensing where his own safety might lie, Dan brings the blizzard into the dark, cramped halls, turning them quiet and white, glowing a bit blue under the moon. He tracks down his own cell, and locks himself in, watching as the snow and ice builds a barrier between the bars.

The demon waits outside. It's very patient.

Dan doesn't have faith in God, but he has faith in Marcus. When he feels Marcus return, he shoves up to the surface, punching through as if from under a frozen lake.

The orange of the demon's eyes flickers to Dan's particular blue.

"Take a deep breath, and then think about turning," he whispers, and then he's back in the cell, the regular lock on the door replaced by a giant wheel, and he begins the heavy, grinding rotation that will bring them to the center again.
shine_again: (Kiss.)

[personal profile] shine_again 2019-12-23 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
They don't have long, not at all, but Dan knows they need to take this moment, this barest heartbeat.

Wrapping his arms around Marcus, he presses their foreheads together. "We did it together, and now you're going to get free from it. You're going to come home to me, to all of us." His voice gets a little wet, no matter how he tries to keep that note away. "I love you. I love you so much. You're everything, everything I was only meant to have if it's with you. I gotta-- gotta go soon, I just--"

He presses in and kisses Marcus, slow and urgent at the same time, knowing he's got to go but needing just a little more.

A little more.