pushbackthedarkness: (028)
It's Halloween and all is relatively quiet.

Marcus feels like maybe he ought to be concerned with that, but at the same time, he wants to just enjoy this lull in activity. Everyone seems to be having a good time, getting ready for parties around the city, just like Marcus and Dan are now, and the spirit of the season is bright and generally happy. He wants to just leave it at that. Enjoy himself. Enjoy the party they're getting ready for now.

It had been weeks ago that Marcus had gone to a costume shop and ordered his costume. He'd paid quite the sum for it, wanting something nice this year, something well made and even tailored to fit him, but when he unzips the garment bag that had arrived by delivery at the house only the day before, he realizes something has gone very wrong.

The costume looking back at him is decidedly not a pirate costume. Instead, Marcus thinks he's looking at what must be a sexy French maid costume. There's a short black skirt that actually looks as if it might fit him, a ruffled blouse, and a little lace choker necklace with a bell on it.

The feather duster completes the look and for a moment all he can do is stare.

"Dan," he calls. "I think there's been a-"

But then he pauses. Thinks about it for a moment. And then, grinning impishly, Marcus begins to strip down and pulls on the maid costume. As he thought, the skirt just fits, snug across his hips. He's sure he looks absurd, but that doesn't stop him from putting on the rest of the costume and looking at himself in the full length mirror.

He can't help it then, he bursts into laughter he's sure Dan can hear from down the hall.
pushbackthedarkness: (033)
Marcus isn't arguing with the demon so much as he's actively trying to swat the aggravating presence out of his head. For months now it's been a low level irritant more than anything, almost like the buzzing of a fly that's gotten indoors somehow at the end of the season and can't be found, but hasn't died yet either. If the demon's plan is to annoy him to death, it might just happen.

There are voices in the darkest moments of the night, whispering like silk against his ears, trying to tempt him, but Marcus doesn't think he can be tempted. One morning, all the fruit in the bowl has gone off, stinking and rotting, with squirming maggots in the centre of one orange. Marcus throws it all away without a word and washes the bowl thoroughly. Spider webs build up in the corners of rooms no matter how often he dusts them away and he sees several fat bodied wasps crawling sluggishly across their back porch.

But beyond the very presence of it, it doesn't try anything beyond occasionally showing up at Bennett or Tomas or Mouse. All tricks Marcus has seen before. He's not frightened. He's mostly just wishing something would happen so he can deal with it and get it all over with.

He's passing by the Church when it finally comes for him.

At first it's only a man, a stranger, young and handsome, standing a few feet away. He smiles and his teeth are black. His shirt is open at the throat and on his chest Marcus can see wasps crawling in and out of holes in his skin. Beside him stands a little girl wearing a pillow case mask over her head. They're holding hands.

"Andy?" Marcus asks aloud before realizing he knows this man's name.

Marcus, no! It's Verity's voice and he turns, confused, to find her running toward him from down the block. She's holding a gun in one hand, pointing it at Andy -- and how the hell does he know this man's name? -- and shouting something Marcus can't quite hear. As she reaches him, she evaporates into smoke, but he can almost feel her whispering against his ear. Don't trust him.

He's not sure who she means.

Then it comes all at once. Tomas, the woman named Cindy and the scene in the hospital. The way Tomas went inside with her, with the demon, and Marcus can feel the fury he'd felt then. There's Harper and her mother, the woman who kept her sweet, bright daughter so sick just to convince her there was a demon inside of her. Mere steps from Marcus, Andy smiles again and Grace, the little girl, she giggles as she grows taller and taller, a pool of black and stinking ocean water spreading out around her feet. The pillow case mask slips away and he sees a beautiful, rotting red haired woman.

He remembers the island and the home, the place where Andy had been fostering those children. Verity. Her disdain for him. His heart aches to suddenly remember her, all the things she had wanted him to remember when she was here, all the things he couldn't. Shelby and Truck and Caleb. Good kids. Such good kids. And a foster father who couldn't accept his wife's death. Who was terrified and sad and who let a demon in.

"God," he gasps, stumbling a little on the street. There's a strong hand around his elbow and he looks up into Matthias's face.

"Hello, älskling," Matthias says and Marcus feels the edges of his vision begin to go black.

The exorcism had gone on for days. Andy had killed a woman, he had killed... Harper's mother, Marcus realizes, and he and Tomas had put her body in the bathtub while they tried in vain to bring Andy back. Nothing had worked and then Mouse. He can hear her telling them both that it's hopeless, to just end it, to kill Andy, and even now Marcus is horrified by the very suggestion. By the woman Mouse has become.

"What-" he asks, but Matthias, still holding him, shushes him softly.

Tomas had almost died. Tomas, who had become Marcus's partner, his best friend, his infuriating protege, he had almost died trying to save Andy and Marcus knows what's about to happen before he gains the memory of holding that cold, heavy gun.

The shot rings through his head. He can hear it clear as day and he gasps and drops to his knees. He'd killed a man. He hadn't just failed Andy, he had killed him, and for a moment Marcus thinks he's going to be sick right there on the street in front of the Church.

But then Matthias is there again, slowly helping him to his feet. He's strong and gentle and exactly like Marcus remembers him being, even though he knows he can't possibly be here. Matthias is gone. He's been gone for months. But he's here, he's collecting Marcus, speaking to him softly, and when he asks, "Will you come with me?" there's really only one answer to give.

Marcus says, "Of course."
pushbackthedarkness: (024)
In the time after the snowstorm and the fights and injuries that had followed, Marcus has been worrying about Sam, thinking about him nearly every day, and keeping in touch via text. But he'd also felt like he needed to give his friend some space to heal, knowing this wasn't a simple injury, a bruised and swollen knee like Marcus himself had suffered. Sam has lost a limb, a life altering event, and some days Marcus still isn't sure how to properly be a friend in instances like this.

At least he's been reaching out, he thinks, instead of disappearing entirely, which he's certainly been known to do, and a few weeks go by before he asks Sam if he's up for a visit.

He doesn't bring flowers, thinks a gesture like that is rather foolish, but off the advice of a very bored child at the Home suffering through summer vacation with a broken ankle, Marcus had gone out on a whim and bought one of those handheld gaming systems. He's holding it now as he shows up at Sam's, knocking on the front door of his place before letting himself in, figuring he doesn't want Sam to have to try and get up for him.

"I brought you a present," he says when he sees Sam, then holds up the wrapped box. "I thought you might be going stir crazy."
pushbackthedarkness: (027)
While their relationship is still new and while it's only been a few weeks, Marcus thinks he can rather safely say he and Dan have already reached a point where plans tend to be assumed more often than not. It's not that he's not still trying to make dates with a particular purpose, because he very much is, liking how it feels to drive to Dan's and pick him up for dinner or for a movie or even just for a walk along the beach holding hands. But there are days, too, when Dan calls just as Marcus is thinking about him and they end up spending an afternoon together or going for coffee before Marcus has a shift at the Home.

He enjoys that time together just as much as he does the official dates.

This evening he's alone, Sabrina having gone to Charlie's, Trass having disappeared out into the trees. Some nights he doesn't come back at all, but Marcus is used to his comings and goings now, and it's hard to truly worry about a wolf of his size. It used to be that being alone in the house made him feel lonely, but no longer. His people will come back and if it really gets to him, there are others he can call.

Like Dan.

He's in the living room sketching when the call comes and Marcus grins before he answers his phone, already knowing who's going to be on the other end. Sure enough, within a few minutes he's tossing down the sketchbook on the coffee table, leaving it open without even looking at it, then grabbing the keys to his truck so he can pick Dan up at the last train stop.

By the time they're back at the house, Marcus is trying to convince Dan to give Space Hospital a try, laughingly attempting to explain some of the more ridiculous plot lines as he unlocks the front door to let them inside.

"It's really not that absurd," he says. "When you've seen demons and ghosts and goblins, is it that farfetched to think of aliens?"
pushbackthedarkness: (025)
For the first time in a very long time, Marcus is wonderfully nervous.

Since five this afternoon, he's been trying to get ready for tonight without rushing through it, just to give himself something to do other than stare at the clock. He showers late, takes a bit of time in front of the bathroom mirror fixing his hair and beard, then spends a full half hour in his bedroom trying to pick the proper outfit for his first real date, possibly ever. They're going to Hideout after dinner, so he ends up with something casual, a pair of dark jeans with a dark red t-shirt on under his light jacket.

He thinks he looks good. At this point he has absolutely no idea.

Sabrina hasn't teased him too much about this, although Marcus suspects Salem of looking especially smug. Even his meows have a particular I told you so quality to them that Marcus is sure he can hear. Still, it's not as if they'd been wrong in the end. Nor Neil. He's never going to hear the end of it.

Just after six thirty, he finally gives up all pretenses of being calm and climbs into the truck, heading for the Bramford. He's picked a place for dinner that's light, but doesn't lean heavily on its drink menu, wanting to make sure Dan didn't feel uncomfortable. Hideout is undeniably a place for music above all else, but they do serve a lot of alcohol there, too, and he's just hoping the band will be enough of a distraction.

He's early, of course, and he turns off the truck and then sits outside by the curb for a few minutes before realizing Dan probably already knows he's there. Huffing out a soft laugh at himself, Marcus gets out of the truck and heads for the front door of the building.
pushbackthedarkness: (045)
Marcus really and truly doesn't like that Sabrina doesn't come straight home as soon as she's safe, but at least Nick's kept his promise and had her call right off. He would much rather see her with his own two eyes and hold her and make sure she's in one piece, but for the time being, her voice assuring him she's okay will have to be enough.

If Kat and Dan had already gone home, he thinks he might have gone straight to Nick's anyway, regardless of what he'd agreed to, but they're still with him and it's their presence alone that keeps him from going utterly mad with waiting. He sleeps like hell that night, worse than he has in awhile, and not even the comforting presence of Dan -- and Trass now -- in the bed with him does anything to make it easier.

Letting Dan sleep in, Marcus is up early, moving around the house, trying to find something to keep him busy. The snow is already melting, creating great puddles and mounds of slush in front of the house, but the temperature has risen enough that there's no ice, so he's comfortable going outside even with his injured knee and breaking down some of the bigger piles of snow still left behind. He does this until there's movement in the house, then he goes back inside, sweating and sore, and showers before helping Dan and Kat prepare a bit of breakfast.

Marcus doesn't eat much, though. He drinks black tea and eats a piece of dry toast, then resumes looking toward the door and waiting for Sabrina, too distracted to be very good company at all.
pushbackthedarkness: (039)
After everything that happened during the last two weeks of June, Marcus almost decides not to go to the Pride celebration this year.

He's very much enjoyed himself in the past, even if that enjoyment had mostly been a quiet, sideline view rather than active participation, but this year is very different. In the past year, he's lost the two people he'd let himself grow close to, two people he had loved, even if he'd never been able to properly say it. Last year's parade had truly felt like a celebration, standing in the vibrant, radiantly happy crowd with Matthias at his side, and this year he worries if he goes he'll only miss what he no longer has.

But in the end he decides to go. The people who had been dragged off to Kagura are safe now. They're home. He knows that doesn't mean the end of it all, he knows there are still after effects to what people have been through, but a moment to celebrate love and everything it means might actually be a benefit to some of them. It might be good for him, even without someone at his side.

Meandering on his own through the crowd, Marcus has a little scarf tucked in the back pocket of his jeans in the colours of pink, purple and blue. When he had stopped at the little kiosk selling the scarves, the woman behind the table had asked if there was anything in particular he was looking for and when he had rather shyly admitted he wasn't sure what all the different colours meant, she'd been more than happy to explain them to him. Which is why he's wandering around now, close to the end of the day, the sun beginning to set, with what he knows to be the bi pride colours hanging out of his pocket.

It feels good, being somewhere that he can simply acknowledge what he feels.

And people are terribly affectionate today, too, which Marcus doesn't mind much at all. He's always craved physical contact without ever feeling he could ask for it, so here today, when people are constantly offering hugs, opening their arms in welcome, planting kisses on each others' cheeks, he feels comfortable touching even strangers. Right up until the moment a rather tall man appears by his side.

Without asking, which Marcus will later think is his first mistake, the man puts his arm around Marcus's waist, then draws him close and kisses him. It's a terrible shock and Marcus doesn't pull away immediately, too surprised by just how forward the gesture is. It isn't right, he's thinking, rather frozen to the spot.
pushbackthedarkness: (024)
Not being able to go back to Kagura and help is driving Marcus up the wall with restlessness.

Dan and Kat seem to be sleeping well enough and he's grateful for that. But there are nights when Marcus simply can't drift off and either he lies awake in bed and stares out the window, praying to God to bring Sabrina and Salem home safely, other nights when he gets out of bed and goes to the living room to read or draw, even some nights when he goes out to stand on the front step in the cold until he can no longer stand it.

It never helps. He just wants to be there if something changes.

Tonight he's trying to sleep. Dan is asleep beside him and Trass has grudgingly given up his spot in the bed and is curled up at the end, but Marcus doesn't think he's sleeping either. Since the snow started, the wolf has been more on guard, clearly sensing something is wrong with their world. He grunts in the dark, then lifts his head, his ear pricked as if he hears something.

Marcus sits up as well, taking care not to wake Dan. He hasn't heard anything, but that doesn't mean nothing is happening.

He sits, conscious of his injured knee, and he waits.
pushbackthedarkness: (024)
As soon as it becomes obvious the snow isn't going to let up any time soon, Marcus sends Kat a text. He tells her he's coming to get her, leaving no room for argument. It's a terrible thing to do and he feels a little bit like a parent must when they decide what's best for their child, and while he's under no illusions and knows Kat is both an adult and not his daughter, she's also still his family in her own way.

And he doesn't like thinking of her potentially being trapped in a flat with no heat should the power go out.

Already he's heard reports of the blackouts across the city and while the house has kept power so far, Marcus at least has a fireplace and plenty of wood to burn if that shouldn't remain the case. There's also plenty of food and bottled water, enough to keep him, Kat and Sabrina safe and well fed and warm, probably for months if it should come to that.

He doubts it will, but it could be a very cold few days and he needs to know his people are safe.

When he pulls up outside Kat's apartment building, the snow is already blowing hard, so he sends her a message to let her know he's here, then gets out to help her. The wind is blowing hard enough to rock him back on his heels, so he knows it'll be even more dangerous for her with her cane, and he hurries to the top of the steps to wait for her and help her back to the truck.
pushbackthedarkness: (045)
The wind and the snow haven't let up in days, all but cutting Marcus and Kat off from the rest of the city, and he's even more glad now than ever that he'd thought to call her once the snow started to fall. Going to get her from her place and bringing her out here where he knows they can stay safe and relatively warm even if the power goes out was an easy decision and having her here with him eases some of the low, simmering distress he feels with Sabrina's departure. It puts one of his people out of danger.

He's been in touch with Neil, too, and some others, making sure they're safe. Maybe he can't bring everyone out here to his house, especially with the snow still coming down, but he wishes he could try.

Trass is long gone, out in the snow, probably patrolling the property. Marcus knows Matthias would love this weather, would be in his element here, and so it doesn't surprise him at all that Trass has essentially disappeared. He'll be back, but probably not until the snow melts.

At the moment, Marcus is doing his best not to worry. He's not checking his phone every five minutes, looking for a response from one of the many people he's messaged in the last day. He's not checking in on Kat every ten minutes to see if she needs something. Instead he's sitting at the table in his kitchen, sketching absently.

He'd like to hear from Neil again. From Nina and Kaz. He wishes the workers at the Home would call with an update on the kids. He'd also like to hear from Dan. Earlier in the day he'd sent a text message, checking to make sure he was okay, but he hasn't heard anything back yet.

Another page in the sketch book is turned and Marcus starts on the same house again. And he tries not to worry.
pushbackthedarkness: (033)
This had been a particularly difficult one and Marcus is very, very tired.

After Chicago, after the Rance family and after his excommunication, Marcus had wanted nothing more than to be alone for a time. To find somewhere to hole up and lick his metaphorical wounds, but Tomas had wanted so badly to be taught and while Marcus hadn't been sure of it, hadn't thought it an entirely good idea, he'd taken the risk.

It's one he regrets now. He should have remembered he works better on his own. Men like Tomas are impossible, they think witnessing an exorcism or two makes them an expert and then they take risks. They're foolish. Tomas had let that demon in and Marcus had forced himself to walk away. Again. He'd sent Tomas back to Chicago, furiously instructing him to never get close to another demonic possession unless he wanted to be the next to die, and then he'd driven off in their rental truck without looking back.

So he's on his own now. Just like he had wanted. He hears from Bennett often enough to keep himself working, makes a bit of extra money taking odd jobs when God doesn't need him, because God's not going to pay for him to eat or find him a place to sleep.

Every so often he considers looking up the few friends he still has. There aren't very many of them and he's not sure how many would be happy to see him, but at the end of it all, he knows he's only considering it because of one friend in particular.

It's been ten years since he first met Dan Torrance, a man at his absolutely lowest point, and Marcus can't pretend even now that he hadn't been utterly taken with him at the time. But it had been wrong. Between the alcohol abuse and the fact that Marcus was a priest, it had been better to keep his distance, especially after one ill-advised kiss he hadn't been able to resist.

They've seen each other here and there over the years. Kept in touch. It does Marcus good to know that Dan is doing better, that he's staying sober. But he's still been a priest and so he's kept a bit of distance between them despite the memory of Dan's warmth, how good he'd been even at the worst point of his life. How steady he'd made Marcus feel. An exorcist needs to detach himself from everything that might be used against him and that includes friends. It especially includes anything that might bloom into something deeper and more meaningful.

But now, at this moment in this crappy hotel room, Marcus is thinking about him. He's only half awake, exhausted from the toll this most recent exorcism has taken on him both physically and mentally, and the thoughts of Dan aren't entirely coherent. Very nearly dreams. He thinks of that kiss, fleeting as it had been, and then his mind turns it into something else, something more.

As he slips into a restless, troubled sleep, the dream becomes worse. Dan's eyes go orange, that beautiful pale blue shifting to reveal another, second iris. But still he's trying to kiss Marcus, trying to lay him down on the bed, and Marcus goes, because if a part of him hasn't been a little bit in love with Dan Torrance all these years, then he's not sure he'll ever really know what love is.

The dream grows dark, slips into something else, something unrelated, and Marcus mumbles in his sleep. Calling Dan.
pushbackthedarkness: (021)
It's a cliché, but the accident happens so quickly that Marcus isn't even aware he's moving toward it until after he's halfway to the form sprawled on the road.

Not five minutes ago he'd run into Dan Torrance near the shop where Marcus likes to get his tea when he walks to the Home for his shifts there, and with a bit of time to kill, not to mention still nursing a fierce and what he assumes is an entirely impossible crush, he'd found himself falling in step with Dan instead of heading straight for the Home. They're chatting, not about anything of particular importance, and Marcus is focused on his tea to keep himself from staring at Dan's mouth as he speaks. It's a little like the friendship he'd had with Nate, the kind where he does his best not to fan the flames of his crush, hoping it'll snuff itself out, all while never uttering a single word about his romantic life. Or lack thereof, in this case.

At the moment of the crash, Marcus is in the midst of offering some silly story about the Home, telling Dan what he does there, and then there's a piercing squealing of rubber on asphalt, a horrific thud that Marcus knows is a body being hit with far too much force, then a scream of shock and fear. He's already running, even before that scream, with the sense that Dan is doing the same thing beside him.

They round the corner together and the scene is worse than Marcus had wanted to anticipate. There's too much blood on the ground and the person lying on the road is barely moving at all. Nearby, a bystander is speaking rapidly into a cell phone, no doubt calling for an ambulance, and another is weeping, her hands in her face. The car sits halfway up the sidewalk, the driver slumped over the steering wheel.

"I've got the driver," Marcus says to Dan, then heads for the car.
pushbackthedarkness: (028)
In the weeks following Matthias's departure from Darrow, Marcus had found himself expecting the house he left behind to remain sad and dark, with shadowed corners and rarely anything in it resembling life or happiness. He recognizes those thoughts now as a rather dramatic reaction to his loss and the grief that followed, but even still, since Sabrina has arrived the place has become unrecognizable from what it had been in those few awful weeks.

It had taken Trass a little longer to warm up, especially with Salem in the house, too, but he's clearly at ease now, curled up near Marcus's feet, his chin resting on his paws as he watches the game going on above him. On the coffee table between Marcus and Sabrina is a Scrabble board and they each have their tiles set up in front of them. Early evening sunlight filters in through the wide windows of the living room and Marcus leans toward his letter tiles as he reaches for his beer.

He's surprised by just how content he feels.

Marcus has known pain. He's known loss. Perhaps one of the hardest things about losing Matthias was knowing he would get to this point eventually. He would miss Matthias, but he wouldn't ache for him the way he had at first. It's having Sabrina here to bring light into the cabin that's made it so much easier.

"No cheating," he says sternly to Salem, who has just put his front paws up on the table on Sabrina's side. "I suspect your vocabulary is far more expansive than your meows let on."

He rearranges his tiles again, one letter short of utilize.
pushbackthedarkness: (026)
In the weeks since Matthias has left, Marcus hasn't been to see the people from Matthias's home, the ones who, other than Marcus, had known him the best. It's not been an oversight on his part, he's just felt genuinely unable to see them, struggling to sort out his own feelings of loss and inadequacy. He knows he especially ought to go see Nina, but she in particular feels more difficult than anyone else, because he knows she had loved Matthias, maybe loves him still, in much the same way Marcus himself does.

So it's Kaz he seeks out first.

He goes to the Crow Club to find him, unsure of what he might do or say once he's there. At this point, given the length of time since it happened, he's sure Kaz already knows Matthias is gone. Marcus knows they weren't exactly friends in the common sense of the word, but there had been a connection there. He needs that right now. Someone who was connected to Matthias, but not in the same way.

At least it's what he thinks he needs. Everything remains still so tangled up.

He's never been inside the club before. He likes the look of it and were he a more active drinker, could imagine himself coming here to quietly drown his sorrows. But while Marcus likes the occasional beer and has certainly used alcohol to cope in the past, there's Sabrina to think about now. He's not completely alone here.

"Is Kaz around?" he asks one of the bartenders as he sinks into a seat at the bar. He's not sure what he'll say once he sees Kaz. He's not even entirely sure why he's here.
pushbackthedarkness: (045)
When Marcus realizes, his instinct is to shut himself off from everyone else.

It's been hard enough without Dutch, but to the end she hadn't wanted to live with them and had instead kept her own place, which meant she wasn't as intimately entwined in this space as Matthias is. As he was

The morning he wakes up and finds Trass in bed beside him instead of Matthias, Marcus is more confused than concerned, and a quick tour of the house doesn't necessarily increase that worry any. Matthias likes being outside, he likes this weather, the chill that still lingers in the air, and Marcus expects he's out for a run or working somewhere on the property.

But he does't come back. And he doesn't come back. Trass ends up whining at the door to be let out and Marcus opens it, letting the wolf bound off into the snow looking for Matthias. It's four hours before Trass returns and Matthias still isn't with him. He whines and sniffs and ignores the food Marcus sets out for him, then huffs out a breath and curls up on the bedroom floor, his snout on his paws.

Trass has something of an attitude, but Marcus has long ago been welcomed into the fold and has gotten used to it, too. He's not used to seeing the wolf like this and knows something is wrong.

Calls to Matthias's phone at first go unanswered, but on the second morning Marcus wakes up alone, there's a recorded voice telling him the number has been disconnected.

He sits with that alone for an entire day and night. Mostly he smokes, which he'd all but given up since arriving to Darrow, but there's an old pack of cigarettes he'd brought with him when he moved in. They taste a little stale, but it's a comforting, familiar gesture. He wraps a blanket around his shoulders and smokes and drinks tea and does sketch after sketch of Matthias and Dutch so he won't forget what they looked like, two of the very few people who have taught him it's okay to want something more than just demons and solitude.

On the third day, not so long that anyone will be worried, he sends a text to Kat and Neil. The ones who will care the most, he thinks, to know he's okay.

"Still here. I'm at the house. Rough few days. Matthias is gone, too."

It feels too abrupt, those words, but he isn't sure how else to say it. He's not okay, but a text isn't the place for the kinds of things he's feeling. All he wants is for them to know he's still here, still alive, because he knows they'll worry. He doesn't tell them not to come, because a part of him is craving company, but he also doesn't ask either of them to come either.

For now there's Trass, who lies beside Marcus with his heavy chin on Marcus's foot, staring up at him with big eyes, asking him to bring Matthias home.
pushbackthedarkness: (026)
Marcus isn't the sort to be generally starstruck and while there are certainly artistic people who have deeply affected him, people he adores, it tends to be musicians more often than not that get under his skin. Music is something he understands, where he usually doesn't care much about movies or television. Marcus can't explain why that is, nor has he ever bothered to.

But there's something about the damn baking show that he enjoys. It's often just on in the background of the house and he'll find himself leaning against the sofa, standing there to watch while he meant to be doing something else. Whether it's the competition or the subject matter or the competitors themselves, he's not quite sure, but he's rather smitten with the whole damn thing. It would be embarrassing if he were the sort to care, although he's generally not.

Still, what is embarrassing is the way he stops to stare at the young woman he knows he's seen on the show. She didn't win, which he had been rather disappointed about, and he can't quite believe he was invested enough to care about who wins, but here he is. Caring. And now staring at her. Which she's noticed.

"Sorry," he apologizes immediately. "I'm sorry, that has to be annoying."

And it has to be happening to her more and more often, he expects.
pushbackthedarkness: (025)
Marcus has been a bloody fool many times in his life, of that there's no doubt and he'd never claim otherwise, but he's also rarely been held accountable for his foolishness. Being who he is -- maybe who he was, even if he's not quite prepared to let go of the past -- he'd gotten away with most of his selfish and arrogant behaviour, right up until he'd found himself excommunicated.

That hadn't changed him, not in the way he supposes it should have, looking back at it now. He owes a lot of Bennett, despite also wanting throttle the man more often than not, and he's never give him enough credit for any of it. And so he'd continued to be a fool, right into Darrow, and he'd continued to get away with it, disappointing the people around him without a thought. Matthias had forgiven him for it, kindly and far more sweetly than Marcus deserves, but Neil hadn't been quite so willing. Marcus had needed to hear it, even if he hadn't wanted to at the time.

Seeing Mouse over and over for those weeks before going to watch that horrid film had only driven it home further. He's fifty-two years old and he's made a life out of pushing others away for fear of them being hurt because of his mistakes, but it becomes more and more plain with each passing day that he regrets doing do. He regrets having pushed Mouse, refusing to answer her questions, and abandoning her when she needed him.

He can't do the same to the people he loves in Darrow.

That first day, he doesn't bring anything with him, he doesn't have an expectations, he just sends Matthias a text to let him know he's coming by. It's funny, just how nervous he is, because he hasn't been really nervous about anything in a long time. Matthias has every reason to refuse him, though, Marcus is very aware of that, but he does his best not to consider that as he shows up at the house and raps gently on the door.

He's nervous and a little frightened, but this is the right thing to do. It's what he wants, to make this life, for all the time he has in it, as real as possible.
pushbackthedarkness: (025)
It's still so bloody warm.

Marcus isn't especially fond of winter with all its snow and ice and terrible winds -- not nearly as fond of it as Matthias is, certainly -- but the days have been getting shorter and yet no cooler. It's at odds with what Marcus is used to, it being September and still warm enough that people insist on continuing to swim in the ocean. And so Matthias keeps working.

He's not really the beach sort. Which is why he's here still wearing jeans and although he's taken his boots and socks off, it's clear he's not the type to generally spend time at the beach. He looks odd and out of place, but he's here, because Matthias is up on that chair and he'd promised he would come visit near the end of his shift and spend a little time with him.

Truthfully, he's looking forward to the rest of the evening, when they can leave together and get some dinner or go back to Matthias's house, but he's here now. Decidedly not lounging.

"How is it people relax in the sand?" he calls up to Matthias. He's standing close enough to the chair to hide in its shade, knowing if he doesn't, he'll likely end up with a sunburn. It makes for awkward conversation and Matthias has to keep twisting in his chair to see where Marcus has gone, but that's rather funny to him. It's true he's probably a little bored, if he's being entertained by seeing how many times he can make Matthias change direction to speak with him, but he hadn't thought to bring a book.
pushbackthedarkness: (034)
Marcus is exhausted, he and Sam both are, but they both also know this isn't quite over.

Betty is safe, left in Kat's capable hands, and Marcus would prefer if she could be with her parents, her family, but he knows such things aren't always possible in Darrow, so he asks Kat to call Betty's friend, tell her Betty needs her now more than ever. And perhaps it's not entirely fair, leaving Kat with this difficult part, especially not when she's already had to live through it before, but it's because she has that Marcus knows she's the right person for the job. She can be a comfort where he and Sam may not be quite as equipped.

They'll be back to see her. Marcus won't leave her without a lifeline to the answers she might need, but their job isn't done.

"Right," he says, sitting in the passenger seat of Sam's car. He has the jar in his lap, wrapped carefully in cloth, held tightly between his hands, the beads of Mother Bernadette's rosary still wrapped around his fingers. Sam's made it pretty clear what they have to do, but this is all new for Marcus. He's of the mind they're the best men in Darrow to do it, of course, but usually the exorcism is the end. This is the place where he steps back, where he promises someone they're going to make it through, where he answers the questions they ask, and where he then drifts off into the night.

There's no leaving Darrow. And there's still the jar to take care of.

"I've keys to the kitchen delivery door," he says. "We won't have to try and get past the front desk that way, which is probably for the best." He needs to keep his volunteer position at the Children's Home now. With what he knows exists just beyond, he needs to be there, to keep an eye on those who live there and to make sure nothing ever breaks free from that awful place again.

"When we get there, take the alley to the west of the building. There's a place we can park."
pushbackthedarkness: (022)
Marcus is more than willing to let Sam stay in his flat for a few days while he comes down from... well, whatever it is he's done, but for all he's exhausted and sore and unsettled, he knows he needs to speak with Verity first. He needs to tell her how things are going to be, at least for a few days, although it's a terrible relief when they get to the flat and find it empty.

That gives them time to get settled. More importantly, it gives them time to clean up, because after having taken the jar back to that room, that horrible lake of blood, they're both drenched in it. Marcus's clothes are destroyed, there'll be no saving them, and he thinks the same is likely of Sam's.

While Sam is showering, Marcus sends Verity a text message, letting her know he's home. Letting her know, too, if she's staying somewhere else, that's perfectly acceptable. She doesn't have to come running back just because he's here. They've a lot to discuss, but he's also not going to force her into anything if she's found a place where she's comfortable for the time being.

Once he's given Sam some fresh clothes and gotten him squared away in Marcus's room, he takes his own shower and stands in the hot spray for a long time, watching as the blood rinses off him and down the drain. There's a lot he still needs to process, knowing this exorcism was different than so many of the others he's done in the past, but right now he's just exhausted. He wants some hot tea, fresh clothes, and to just sit down for a few minutes.

He's clean and dry, dressed once more, making that tea he's so craving, when he hears the door of the flat open.

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Marcus Keane

March 2025

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